need you like water in my lungs.

Last night was emotional in both the very best and very worst ways possible.

"The funeral keeps both of us apart."
(Yes, it did. It still does.)

I saw Brand New and was absolutely blown away. They played so well, including Jude Law And A Semester Abroad and Seventy Times 7, Daisy, You Won't Know, Jesus (!), At The Bottom, Sink, Gasoline, You Stole, Bought A Bride, Limousine, Mix Tape, and Play Crack The Sky. I think there might have been more. They played for over an hour and just gave it all they had. Jesse even said he was so thankful that we were all there, which is interesting since he is quite honestly the most bitter guy ever, hah. I swear, he is the only person in a band who is able to absolutely hate his fans and have his fans still love him devotedly. I don't think he really hates his fans, he's just a silly boy.
Anyway, Crime In Stereo opened for them and were alright, but quite disorganized. Glassjaw was lovely minus being completely squished into every other person around me to the point of not being able to breathe.
But Brand New. I couldn't believe my senses. I was so excited, so happy, feeling so many more emotions than I have in a very, very long time. Just incredible.

The bad part was, you were there.
You were there and you just looked at me.
And I don't know what I would have said to you if you had said something to me.
"I have nothing to say to you."
"I still love you."
"I don't know what else to say."
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I've realized that I've never gone a day without loving you, without thinking of you.
And I was proud of myself because as I went past your street, I didn't think about you.
Seeing you seeing me, I wondered what it was exactly that you were looking at.
I dare you to tell me.
I dare you to approach me.
I dare you.
Man up.
Say something.

I don't think I'll ever feel this way again.

I cried the entire way through Play Crack The Sky.
I cried for you. For me. For beauty and love and truth and freedom.
But most of all, it was for all that I've lost.
And all that I've found.