as you breathe the words "i better go"

Last night I went to the Casbah with my brother and Josh. We got drunk and took a cab. First time I got drunk with my brother, yeah! It was pretty cool I guess, except it was a little awkward seeing as my brother's exgirlfriend was there. Weird. We saw Jamsquid play which was awesome. And then some 29 year old hit on me, which was not so awesome. And Monster Truck played and Jeremy recognized me and I was impressed and quite happy. He is a nice boy. And I'm spoiled and did not have to pay for any of my drinks last night. Also, since the Casbah got to be so big, they make really shitty drinks. They literally measure out ONE SINGLE shot and are super anal about it, as opposed to Che or Frat where they just fucking pour it in. Come on now, Brody. Stop being lame.
Anyway, I saw Eleanor tonight which was great. We went to Second Cup and then watched the pilot of the OC, which is a pretty solid show. It has great filming and it's kind of intense. If you watch it from the beginning you realize that it's not just a shitty teen drama. It has a legit story line, and a good one, too.
After that I went to Rebecca's to meet up with her, Kathleen, and Aleks and then we picked up Amanda and went to Disco/Punk. I saw Norman and watched Spirits with him for a bit, then danced for a bit, and then left. I don't know what else to say about tonight except that I miss my own friends a lot.
I wish that my friends were still here. You know, all of them, the ones who are the glue, the ones who bring me together with everyone else. I miss you. I miss you all the time. I wish that you were here so badly. It seems like all my best friends either can't come out with me, don't have time for me, or are gone somewhere far away. I don't know what else to do other than try to be friends with friends-of-friends, but it never feels the same and it always makes me miss my bests more and more.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Brooke and JC. I miss you both so much it's ridiculous. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I am literally in tears right now thinking about you. I've said it before, but it absolutely and completely breaks my heart to be away from you both. I wish you were here. I need you right now more than ever.

I don't know what else to say.
It's 2:30am, I'm wide awake, and I'm eating chocolate chip cookies in bed. And I miss my bests more than I could ever, ever express.