think i was blind before i met you

(All I do every once in a while is think of you and what could have been.)



I wish I could write more. I wish I could write something that doesn't sound absolutely stupid, juvenile, and naive. I wish I could come straight out and tell you what I feel, what I think, what I want. I bet you don't even think of me. I bet you never think of me. But I miss the way you looked at me, the way you touched me, the way your room was our world and we were all that mattered in it.
It tears me up every time I think about you or hear about you or go by your street. I'm miles away but I can still see your house, your face, your hands. You smoking your cigarettes in the way that you do that I can only describe as "your way".
And then again, I'm beginning to forget how your voice sounds. I can see your mouth move; I remember that perfectly. But the words that come out are silent. Your eyes never fade; they're always close by in my mind with their long curling lashes and beautiful fresh blue irises.
And I wonder if you're reading this now, knowing it's you, knowing exactly how I feel. I wonder if you're missing me, loving me, wishing I was there but you're too scared to say something.
In two months, it will have been a year that I've known you. It will be a year since I first felt something for you. In three months, it will have been a year that I let you in and began loving you. And the world will continue to spin in the same way it always does. The snow will melt, the birds will return, the flowers will bloom, and we'll still be miles apart.
Please give me words, strength, integrity to forget you, to move on, to fall asleep without you in my head. Tell me something. Tell me anything. I'm content with this going either way. I've come to accept you and me for whatever it is we are.
But I still wonder what it was that we could have become.